In the last few days the word betrayal has come up twice when talking about events that have happened in my life.
I was betrayed by someone who I would have expect had my back and was my biggest champion and someone who is a friend.
Both are people still in my life and I don’t see that changing.
When I think about the betrayal, and the impacts that’s had on my life, I also owe it to myself to see how I’ve betrayed the people in my life and myself.
Everything in life is a mirror, something for us to look at. We can choose to look at it or not, but when we don’t look at it, the lesson keeps appearing:
- The people that annoy us
- The people who betray us
- The people who use us.
And often the simple answer is – looking at how you show up.
- Who are you annoying? Is it your friends, co-workers, your partner, your kids or yourself.
- Who have you betrayed? Is it your friends, co-workers, your partner, your kids or yourself.
- Who have you used? Is it your friends, co-workers, your partner, your kids or yourself.
When we look at the answers, and there’s always an answer and if you tell me ‘no one Susan, I’m an angel all the time, honouring myself in every way possible, showing up for everyone in my life and being the peace maker’ you’re lying and you know you are – I’m laughing with you!
So when we look at the answers, what do you see?
- Are you showing up as the person you want to?
- Are you being kind and holding space for your partner, family, friends, kids, co-workers?
- Are you being your true authentic you?
Or are there areas that you can improve on and if the answer is yes, what’s one thing you could do to move the needle into the improved area?
For me, and thinking about betrayal, I can see:
- That I’ve betrayed myself:
- I’ve pushed when I really should have slowed down and listened to my body.
- I’ve worked jobs that I can do, but that didn’t really excite me.
- I’ve given up chocolate, it’s been 6 months now, but I now have an ice cream issue and my liver isn’t happy because the sugar is dehydrating me and making it work harder.
- That I’ve betrayed Chris and Teddy:
- Not communicating what I needed. Not having the courage to say ‘somethings wrong here’ and working with them to find a solution.
- Not listening to Chris, in particular, because what I’ve found since I have started listening to him is he knows what I need before I actually know it.
- Leaving things to Chris, dumping them with him in effect, and not standing beside him when he needed me.
- That I’ve betrayed my family:
- By disconnecting from them because I’d tell myself I didn’t understand them or what’s going on for them – but that’s just a mirror right, I didn’t understand what was going on for myself, can you see how that works?
- That I’ve betrayed my friends:
- I asked things of them that I shouldn’t have
- I didn’t accept them as they were
- I didn’t move on when I knew it was time to
- In some cases, I chose to leave. I chose to leave without explanation and that’s on me – not on anyone else.
- That I’ve betrayed my co-workers:
- I didn’t show up fully as I could. I did some great work but I could have done more and that’s not being hard on myself that’s being honest.
So how do we move forward from this? We can’t go backwards, we can’t change things. What we can do is move forward with more authenticity, more honesty and more love – for ourselves and others.
We can also say sorry.
Saying sorry is a beautiful gift for yourself and for the person you’re saying sorry to.
I’ve said sorry to a few people. I’ve come at things with more authentic, love and kindness with other people. I’ve opened my heart more to learn and listen too, and found ways to connect, meaning I’ve built stronger relationships. And I’ve allowed the stuff that I don’t get to slide – because I don’t need to get it and it can just be.
And we can say thank you.
All lessons teach us something, and it’s in the thank you and expressing gratitude that we can set ourselves free.
Enjoy exploring this, and share with me below what you’ve struggled with, how you’ve moved through it and what you’re thankful for xo
