When life is in flow everything’s going great, it feels like you can achieve anything and the days will go on forever – tip toeing through the tulips, so to speak. But then you stub your toe, things start to go haywire and you feel like you’re in this spiral going down and down and down, perhaps occasionally popping your head up to breathe for air.
When I stopped listening to my own voice and listened to the world it was almost like I had permission to stop accepting responsibility for where I was at. I could project my crap onto anyone that was in my line of fire, often those closest to me, and that was all the excuse I needed to dissolve myself of any responsibility. But of course, I had loads of responsibility – I had to raise a child, look after myself and our home, pay the bills, cook meals, clean, wash…the list of ‘doing’ things went on.
I used these things as an excuse not to look at what was really happening in my life. I used them as a pair of sunglasses because coming out into the sun would be too hard and it was easier to stay in the blame state because frankly I was doing the best damn job I could and that should be enough.
Honestly though, it wasn’t enough, and I know it wasn’t enough because I wasn’t happy. Now some of you will say that being truly happy is a myth, its not real and no one can achieve it, and I agree. Being truly happy 100% of the time is impossible because things happen – illness, death, injury. They happen, and we have to move through those times too. Its incredibly important as a human being that we allow time to grieve, to take time out to get better, to cry. That’s totally ok but whilst your going through those times remember you can always find something to be grateful for and it important not to buy real estate in that sad place.
Things changed when I could start saying ‘thank you’ for the small things, particularly to the people I loved. Thank you for bringing the washing in, thank you for cleaning the shower, thank you for cooking dinner, thank you for insisting that you work 3 days a week when we were growing up because that showed me that it was important that women have something that’s theirs. I also started telling people why I loved them. I love you because you’re the most amazing husband I could ever wish for. I love you because you’re the sweetest, most kindest little boy ever and I’m so grateful that I get to be your mum – thank you for coming into my life. These can all be things we take for granted and whilst its important to tell people now that we love and appreciate them, because we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, its also important to give in order to receive, because this is where you will learn and this is where your relationships will grow astronomically.
If you want more love in your life then give more love, if you want more happiness in your life then smile more, laugh more! And if you don’t feel like it – fake it till you make it – yes it works!! I want you to write down 10 things your truly grateful for, here’s a few to get you started:
- That you woke up this morning
- That it’s a beautiful day (regardless if its sunny or cloudy or rainy – it’s still a bloody beautiful day)
- That you have a job/study to go to
- That you have breakfast to eat…
I think you get the gist and I’d love you to add 6 more things.
YOU get to choose how you live your life. YOU and no one else. YOU get to choose the rules you live by and if you want something to change then YOU have to be that change. Don’t sit on the couch watching TV wishing for something to change, get off the couch and go and do the that thing you want to do. Forget about what anyone else thinks, forget about what’s next, just do you right now because that’s enough and I can promise you once you’ve started that thing, the next thing will show up, and the next, and the next – keep moving, follow your heart and don’t stop xo
