I want to let you know before you read this, that I’m going to be talking about my period. This has been a closed subject in my life for a long time and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Please know, I’ll be describing situations that have happened to me, some will be funny but perhaps for some, they might be uncomfortable or confronting. I’m sharing this to bring awareness and I’m not asking for advice or guidance, I’ve got that sorted. If you read this post and it resonates with you I’d love to hear about your experience. Please also remember, that in some cases, these are my words 30 years later – it may not have happened quite as I’m describing it xo
I was about 12 when my Mum gave me a book about how my body was going to change. I even have a memory about going to the Catholic bookshop to buy the said book – as I’m writing this, I’m wondering if this memory is real. Anyway, I was given the book, told to go off and read it FULL STOP. There was no ‘if you have any questions come back and lets talk it over’ or ‘lets sit down and talk about what’s going to happen and why’ – not that I can recall anyway and possibly not that I want to remember.
My first period arrived on a Friday night in the summer of 1988. I’d just said goodbye to my best friend from primary school who’d come to stay with us and I was still on school holidays (thank goodness!). I remember putting toilet paper in my knickers and then hanging around Mum but not sure what to say or what to do, I just remember crying because ‘I didn’t want them’.
I went to bed that night and never said a word to Mum. Of course, she figured it out because Saturday was ‘wash the sheets day’, so I was given some ‘things’ to ‘sort me out’. In the early years my periods lasted for 7 – 10 days. I hated having them and from time to time I would have days off from school to rest.
I always had bad period pain and it wasn’t until I was about 16 that I discovered Naprogesic, who would become my friend for many years. I also learnt that drinking alcohol stopped my period for a day or 2, so guess what I did in my 20’s – not that I needed any encouragement!
Over the years I’ve been caught out ‘forgetting’ that I had my periods because the drugs worked so well and dulled the pain or I was in a situation where bathrooms were not close by. I’ve been on a train, on a plane where I fell asleep, sightseeing at night time, warming up for a netball game just to mention a few.
In recent years, every trip I’ve gone on has aligned with my period. Last year, I went to a conference and my period arrived the day I was leaving to go there. Day 2 and 3 are my heaviest days and I have to keep on top of it or things can get messy. At the conference I would go to the toilet every 2 hours or earlier if a break occurred. Regardless of the ‘status’ of things I would always change my tampon and I wore a pad as back up. Of course, they don’t stop at night, so I was up every couple of hours and heading into the morning of day 3, I thought that things would start to slow down.
I headed to breakfast at the hotel, grabbed some fruit, juice, bircher and sat at a bar type table outside on the balcony. As I was sitting there eating I didn’t feel right, I felt wet. I was thinking, this can’t be – I’ve just changed my tampon…I have time! Then I felt wet between my butt cheeks… noooo…I dared to slide my finger down there…thank goodness I had a paper napkin. I quickly had a couple more bites of food, then got up and walked straight to the toilets which were of course located in the lobby of the hotel. I had to walk out of the restaurant and across the lobby to get there.
The amount of fear in my body that 1. Someone would see me and 2. That someone would stop me to talk was huge, so I walked calmly but fast, I was on a mission. When I sat down on the toilet my tampon literally slid out, I didn’t have to help it so you could imagine the state of my clothes. I tidied myself up as best I could and then headed back to my hotel room where I showered, changed and washed my clothes.
This for some women could be a monthly experience. I’m fortunate that my period comes every 28 days. Some women have no idea when their period will turn up. Some have debilitating pain that means they can’t function and, in some countries, women don’t go to work or school until they’re ‘clean’ again – yes this still happens.
Women’s bodies are incredible. There’s a joke 3 reasons women are better than men and one of those reasons is we can bleed for a week and not bleed to death (for the rest of it message me). Now I don’t ever want to compare a woman’s and a man’s body – they’re both amazing and from those tears as a 13 year old, I’m learning to love what’s happening to my body. I have incredible joy in knowing my body is functioning just as it supposed to and for me this is very calming. I’m not ready for menopause but it will come when the time is right and I know that I’ll be ready to accept it when it arrives.
I am looking forward to watching empowered young women who understand more about their bodies, knowing how to look after themselves, knowing what’s going on and having more choices in how to manage their health and wellness.
Awareness is key in everything we do in our lives, so please be aware of others, be kind and respectful. Whether someone has their period or their mind won’t stop harassing them, listen to them, give them the space they need to work through it and most importantly always lead with love xo
