And Saturday

This is like a time stamp for me. 

Seeing the changes that happened on Thursday, Friday and now Saturday has been really interesting.

We don’t often stop and take stock of our lives on a yearly basis, let alone a daily one. 

When I woke up on Saturday I had a dry cough. I’d again sweated through the night but it wasn’t as bad as Thursday night. In other words, I wasn’t drenched. I was dampish – sure, but not drenched.

I realised that I hadn’t been drinking enough water. I’d only been having about 1.5 to 2 litres, and I like to make sure I have about 2.6 litres, so that was my goal for the day – increasing my water intake.

Now you’re probably thinking ‘Susan, you’re going to sweat more.’ But let me tell you that doesn’t happen for me and I’ll explain more about why we need to drink more water in another post.

Chris noticed my coughing and brought it up with me. A week earlier, I’d asked him what he thought of my cough, and he said ‘I don’t notice it as much in the morning these days.’ Which was a big win for me. I was thinking the same thing, but I wanted to see if my outside world reflected my inside world. Meaning, if it did, I was on the right path.

Today he said ‘I feel like I jinxed you, and since saying your cough was better, it’s gotten worse.’

I explained to him that it wasn’t him, it was my body healing and things change – which is ok. I explained what happened on Thursday (waking up at 5.15am and going to bed at 11.15pm) and how I felt that had effected me, particularly on Friday. Then I shared how today was much better than yesterday and why.

Whilst yes I was coughing, it was a dry cough. If there was some mucus coming up it wasn’t NTM, it was normal body fluids, so that’s a win.

I also explained that this is a moving feast, and no matter what happens, I’ll be ok.

After we got home from soccer and grocery shopping, about 11am, my dry cough had almost disappeared, which is always interesting to me.

I had lunch and then headed off to Netball. 

I wasn’t sure if I’d play a full game or just half a game. Years ago I wanted to be on court for the whole thing, now I’m happy being the ‘part-time’ player and letting the young ones, or those that are super keen, to run as much as they like.

I warmed up for the game, we did a drill and then put some shots up. Besides being considerably older than the rest of my team, and feeling every bit of it, everything was fine and my lungs were good.

I went on court and everything was great until the last quarter.

About half way through the last quarter I started coughing. Runny NTM filled my mouth, and as quickly as I’d swallow it, the next cough came.

I coughed up about 5 mouthfuls of it before it dissipated and disappeared – of course.

But while it was happening, I was wondering:

• How long will this last?
• Is there blood in it? I did check for any metallic taste in my mouth, which indicates blood, but there wasn’t any.
• How much longer do we have of the game?
• Can I come off?
• With our other shooter down in defence, can I rotate off and then rotate back on, to get her off court in the defence end and then rotate myself back off? Because we only had one sub.
• Should I just come off and the team play with 6 players?

Then, as I shared, everything stopped and I finished the game. We drew the game, incase you were wondering, we were down by 2 with 30 seconds to go. Thankfully my goal attack was all over what was happening.

We thanked the other team, had a photo and came off court. I was coughing again, so I stepped away from the team while that was happening, just irritated airways and a bit of NTM. More annoying than anything.

However I did feel drained. It would have been the game plus the coughing, so I slowed things right down. I picked up my bag, put on my jacket (to keep my chest and neck warm) and then went over to another court to watch the next game.

I only intended to stay for the first quarter, but I was chatting with some lovely people and ended up staying for the whole game.

As I drove home I thought about writing this and how important it is for me and for others to see that whilst it’s hard and whilst we can do it, we can find our balance. How that looks for you, is different to how that looks for me, so getting to know ourselves is one of the greatest gifts we we can give ourselves.

We have to be our own best friends on this journey, and advocate for ourselves – we know ourselves better than anyone else. Whilst what’s happening isn’t ‘normal’ this is our ‘normal’ for now – and yes it’s always changing. What a blessing that is!