Are my lungs talking to me?

I was sitting with a clairvoyant and she said ‘there’s something going on in your chest and there’s a message there.’

I smiled, yes I feel that too.

I’d been watching my lungs for some time and I noticed that they’d flare at certain times. I wasn’t sure why but after an experience with clenching and grinding my teeth, I wondered if I could uncover what was going on.

I went to see my dentist and she asked if I was in fact, clenching or grinding my teeth. To which I said yes, at night.

Then she said to me ‘oh that’s something you’ll never get rid of, so we’ll need to monitor it.’

I smiled, because the moment anyone says that something is permanent to me I think ‘nah, I can overcome that.’

I let it go, and she did her thing.

While she was deep in my mouth, I’m sure having the best time, I was on the other side reassuring myself ‘you’re ok, you’re ok, you’re going to be ok.’

My cortisol levels felt like they were through the roof and that I was about to break out in a sweat – and she was just cleaning the plaque off my teeth, imagine if she was drilling in there!

I got curious about it and I wondered, ‘what am I stressed about?’

Honestly, I didn’t have anything to be stressed about. My life was amazing. I did work I loved, I had a husband I loved, I had a home and life I loved. I ate great food, I was safe, I read books when I wanted to, I went walking when I wanted to – I had a stress-free life.

But here I was grinding and clenching my teeth.

Then it came to me, I was stressed about money.

We had money, that wasn’t the issue. The issue was I didn’t know what money was coming in. It wasn’t like I had a regular pay check, my income, and Chris’ income, was sporadic and more like a casual job pay cheque. You do the work, you get paid.

Which sounds pretty straight forward right, you do the work, you get paid – but you have to have clients for that.

The other side of this was looking at the underlying issue. It wasn’t just about clients – because that put the ability to relieve my stress outside of myself. When the ability to relieve my stress was an inside job. Just like happiness.

When I explored the stress and what it was telling me, I found out that the underlying issue was that I didn’t feel safe.

I wondered though, years earlier, I had felt safe with $10 in my account, but that was because I knew when my next pay cheque was coming in.

I knew in my mind that everything would work out – it always does (this is a belief I have and it’s never failed me), but I needed to find a way to feel safe and see if by feeling safe my grinding and clenching ceased or stopped.

I started playing around with thoughts that would make me feel safe in my body:

  • Everything always works out (a thought I already had and started saying to myself regularly)
  • I don’t have to know the destination, I just get to trust the journey
  • I don’t have to know all the answers, just taking the one next step is enough
  • This is a team effort (it’s not just me in this boat), and
  • I am safe in my home, with the money we do have, the work I do etc.

Then I started embodying safety in my body. The mind and body are connected, so it wasn’t enough to say the thoughts, I had to feel the thoughts, and I had to feel good about the thoughts.

That said, saying ‘I don’t have to know the destination, I just get to trust the journey,’ felt bloody scary, so I sat with scary, and then was able to smile at myself.

Slowing down the moment allowed me to see what was going on in my head – all the scary thoughts, and then I could see how ridiculous they were and that none of it was actually happening now. NONE OF IT! 

The more I practiced the thought ‘I don’t have to know the destination, I just get to trust the journey,’ the easier it got to feel good and the less scary it got. Now I get excited about the journey and anchor my trust in the path being shown – even though I act like a scared child sometimes. It’s ok to be human 🙂

Now taking these steps didn’t magically stop me grinding and clenching my teeth over night, but I can tell you, that by my next dentist appointment, which was 3 months from the last one, I was no longer doing it. I had solved it.

I also had a solution for when it came back, and it did. I started doing it again a couple of months later. I became aware of it and I went through the same process I outlined above. Checking in with my body about what it needed, then bringing in the thoughts to support myself and feeling it in my body.

Healing myself again and much quicker this time. Literally within days.

Our bodies are so intelligent and when we stop to listen to it, the answers come.

Now with my NTM I haven’t been quite as successful (yet) but it’s coming, however this is what I’ve noticed.

Often when I cough it’s because my body wants me to stop.

It could be stopping a thought pattern and often it’s a negative thought loop:

  • Why are you doing this?
  • You can’t do this?
  • When are you going to stop Susan?

It can also come up when I’m sharing something that I shouldn’t be. Perhaps I’m talking about someone or wanting to recommend something to someone. Whilst I don’t intend it to be negative, my lungs say ‘STOP’, this isn’t what we do. So if you see me being quiet, this could be why. There are many other reasons, like I’m actively listening and genuinely interested in what you have to say, but it could be because I’m not meant to be sharing in that moment.

It could also be because it wants me to slow my body right down. To sit down and do nothing or mediate, whatever it is, my body is needing down time.

It also could be about taking myself out of situations that don’t serve me, and therefore don’t serve the people or person I’m with. Again, slowing down life has created space for me to see when this happens and it’s been a blessing.

Finally, it could be when I’m eating something my body struggles with, like cold foods. I’ve touched on this a bit already, but I’ll go deeper into it later.

In essence, it’s about being curious. It’s about getting to know our bodies on an even deeper level to see the wisdom within. It’s about collaborating with our minds and bodies, to create the life we want.

Let’s keep healing.

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