Living in alignment isn’t hard but it isn’t easy either.
Much like eating for our body with foods that make us feel well verses foods that don’t make us feel well.
Living in alignment requires us to say no to things and we’re not always good at saying no. It can also requires us to sit with decisions, not make them on the spot because we need more time verses making the person happy in the moment.
We become people pleasers, and we can do things because we want to be recognised for our own talents or just because we’re good at showing up – we’re reliable.
Just because we know how to do something or because we’re good at it doesn’t mean we have to do it. And, we can think not doing it is a ‘waste’ of our talents and we can cause someone else ‘unnecessary’ work and/or expense.
We can tell ourselves all the stories. And by doing the things for others, we can live in their life and not our own – one that we may want to escape or one that we still haven’t ‘figured’ out yet.
Living in alignment allows us to let go of the stories, and create new beliefs.
It requires you to understand your values, what’s important to you. Ir requires you to live in alignment with your values and to let others live in alignment with their values – no matter how different or similar they are to yours.
So let’s unpack values.
A value is a core belief, something you hold dear to yourself and often you’re surrounded by people with similar values. For example:
- Honesty
- Love
- Kindness
- Fun
- Authenticity
- Growth
- Curiosity
- Reliability
- Hard work (yes a lot of people have this value)
- Flexibility
- Freedom
What other values come to mind for you? For more values, check out Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead Values
Then we overlay our values with what’s important to us:
- Ourselves (this is a hard one for a lot of people)
- Our partners
- Our family
- Our kids
- Our work
- Holidays
- Our homes
What else is important to you?
The next step is to make decisions about our life and do it in alignment with our values, for example:
- My girlfriends have organised a Sunday Session, and I’m exhausted from not getting enough sleep with Bub last night. I’d love to go and catch up with everyone because I know it will be amazing and I’ll feel great, but I really need some more sleep. Do I value connection or sleep more?
- I’ve committed to going to a new gym, to work out with other mums. It’s great to get out of the house and to move again but it’s taking me two hours to get there with the feeding, packing and travelling. I’m keen to meet new mums and connect with people but the time it’s taking is really draining me. Do I value new connections or self-love more?
- It’s my niece’s birthday, I need to go shopping for her which will require me getting Bub fed, packed and driving to the shops. Then we have to find the thing, buy it and head home. We could possibly run into other people while we’re out and about too. Or I could jump online and get her a voucher so she can shop for whatever she wants? Do I value my time or getting a thoughtful present more?
What do I do, and how do I stay in alignment with my values?
There’s no right or wrong answer here and sometimes you’ll feel like going to that Sunday Session or going to the shops, and sometimes you won’t.
The important part here is to know what you’re values are, know what’s important to you, and then act in accordance with how you feel. When you do this, when you act from a place of alignment you’ll create more energy in your life and you’ll create more of what you want.
