It’s hard to do something different when the world around you believes their way’s the right way, and it might have been the right way for you but you’ve changed and you see things differently or perhaps that way hasn’t been a good fit for you or perhaps you’ve tried that way and it just hasn’t worked.

You know you best and that’s the thing we forget.

There are a couple of home truths that I know and I’ve learned deeply on my journey:

  • Everyone’s doing the best they can – yes everyone, even the person who you think can’t drive properly, they’re doing their best.
  • When someone gives us advice they genuinely do it because they want to help and they think they’re helping.
  • Everyone is unique.

The best thing we can do for anyone is listen.

We don’t have to do anything.

If it feels right or appropriate we can ask ‘would you like help with this or would you just like to share what’s happening?’

Most people are never asked these questions and therefore most people don’t know the answer to these questions. And that’s ok.

When things started shifting in my lungs I didn’t know what was going on. Most of the time I felt ‘normal’ and then occasionally I’d have mucus come up. It was odd but then it would disappear so I didn’t worry about it, I just noticed it.

Then as things progressed, I did my best to heal it myself and when that didn’t work I reached out to what I knew. I got antibiotics for it and went on with life. That worked for a little while but things didn’t naturally get better.

The thing with any health issue is that everyone has an opinion or, on the other hand, they don’t know how to support you so they change the subject – sound familiar?

This means, you learn very quickly that it’s easier to say nothing, telling everyone that you’re fine and ‘there’s nothing to see here’ because frankly you don’t have the ‘answers’ and you don’t want to ‘worry’ about it any more.

It’s draining.

It’s exhausting.

And, you’re hoping it will go away – soon.

That doesn’t happen, or at least it didn’t in my case.

So when I coughed up blood, the first time, I decided to do something different. I went to see a Functional Dr. That led to me being diagnosed with Bronchiectasis for the first time. It was 2020 and I’d been struggling with my lungs since 2015, even though the symptoms were showing from as early as 2011.

When we mention coughing up blood to anyone, that scares people and it’s not ‘normal’ so I didn’t talk about it.

I didn’t want to have recurring conversations with people, concerned people, who were more scared of you dying and the effect that would have on their life – and of course yours – so I closed my mouth and got on with life.

Of course I found small spaces where I could talk about it and they were with new friends who understood that they couldn’t fix me, but they could love me right where I was and support me there. They also understood energetics, and that perhaps this wasn’t my issue in the first place – perhaps it was someone else’s issues or perhaps a past life issue or perhaps it was linked to emotions, perhaps it was all of the above and more. They knew I had work to do and they were keen to watch me on my journey. To ask me amazing questions and to support me.

What I found with the blood incidents, and yes there were a few, that if it cleared up, no one really worried about it. What I mean by that is Western Medicine didn’t worry about it. And Western Medicine was what I was used to. Western Medicine became really effective was when the bleeding didn’t stop.

In August 2023, I woke up coughing up blood. It was a beautiful red colour. I hadn’t seen blood like this in a while, maybe a year, so I wondered, would it stop?

If it stops then we get on with life because even if I tell a Dr, they’re going to say ‘well it stopped, so keep living life.’ 

I get it, it’s like a cut on your leg. We can clean it up, put a bandage on it and it will heal. Whilst I wasn’t putting a bandage on my lungs, they were smart and they would heal.

However, after 5 days of intermittently coughing up bright red blood I took myself to hospital to find out I had an infection.

One round of liquid antibiotics and 3 rounds of capsule antibiotics later, with lots of probiotics (self-prescribed) my lungs stopped bleeding and healed. The bleeding actually stopped within 2 or 3 days, it was quick, and I was grateful.

Aside from my husband, who knew what was happening, and a couple of close friends, I told no one.

Chris however, needed to process it and he told a few people. In general, I didn’t have an issue with this, it’s healthy, however he shared it in a space where I didn’t feel safe, and it led to a conversation of ‘concerned’ people getting me on a group call. The call was like a surprise birthday party, and you hate surprises.

As a stand alone incident it would seem scary to anyone. Perhaps reading this you’re thinking ‘wait, you waited 5 days to get help?’ And this is basically what I received on that group call, with some sarcasm for effect.

I met that sarcasm with directness and honesty. I didn’t pull any punches, I said it exactly how it was and what my experience was. I said things like:

  • You have to understand my history and laid it out. I shared my previous lung bleeding issues, irregular as they were, and the comments made by Western Medicine Drs. None of it was an issue for me, they literally couldn’t do anything about it but monitor me – if I let them.
  • I shared what was helping, things like detoxifying our life and home, meditating, sound bowls, energetic healers etc.
  • And then asked them, what would you have me do?

They honestly had no answers.

It wasn’t their fault, they didn’t have the full picture and I was able to give them that picture in the conversation but had I been a version of me from 10 years ago having the conversation – it would have been completely different.

This version of me believed that I was doing everything I could, and I was.

This version of me believed that things would change over time, and it was.

This version of me knew that I would learn more which would take my healing to another level, and it was.

This version of my knew I was standing in my truth, and I did.

I was proud of myself and my ability to navigate that conversation but it’s not easy. I’ve played that conversation over in my head many times. There were things I could have done differently. I could have softened what I said and still delivered my truth, but I didn’t and that’s ok. That’s a lesson for my future. That’s having grace for myself.

Going on this journey, any health journey, isn’t easy and one day I’ll tell you that I’ve fully healed my lungs and that I’m proud of myself for doing the work I did. But let me tell you now, that I’m proud of the work I’m doing right now, because it’s transforming me in more ways than just my lungs.

Community is important full stop, but the right community is even more powerful and understanding that our unique journey’s are exactly that – ours. People will come in with what they think is right – but they haven’t and aren’t living our journey. Choose your community wisely.

PS. Your intuition is your greatest guide and so are the lessons we learn in life, so pay attention.

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